{Review} Flirting in Spanish by Susan McKinney de Ortega

Flirting in Spanish: What Mexico taught me about love, living and forgiveness by Susan McKinney de Ortega

Kindle Edition, 2010

Genres: adult non-fiction, autobiography, memoir, romance, spirituality, travel, women's fiction

Synopsis (via Publishers Weekly): Running from paralyzing memories of an attempted rape and the decade of silence and shame that followed, Ortega lands in Mexico at 33, trying not to fall for a much younger local. In 1992 the author, the daughter of champion NBA coach Jack McKinney, was teaching English to Mexican teenagers when she met 19-year-old Carlos, who ardently pursues her despite the age and huge cultural differences. She resists at first, due to their divergent backgrounds--Ortega's childhood was one of summer vacation rentals and white gloves at Mass, while Carlos was a high school dropout who didn't have running water until age 10. But when she realizes that she is surprised a man could be kind to her like her father, "I didn't feel like a nervous wreck of a person anymore." It's not an instant happy ending as Ortega contends with the extreme poverty Carlos and his family live in, the machismo culture, and her own lingering doubts, with one foot in Mexico and the other wavering. When she finally achieves hard-won contentment, it's a joyous moment.

My review: I enjoyed this book immensely from the minute I picked it up until I finished it this morning. It is not a large book, but it is one I took my time reading because I wanted to savor the story as much as possible. In fact, towards the end I found myself procrastinating a little about finishing it because I simply didn't want the story to end.

I immediately liked Susan; I found her very relatable, laid back, with a writing style that is not self-conscious in the least (unfortunately a feature of some memoirs). In fact, it is an easy, even mix of stream-of-consciousness and objective yet vivid observations about her surroundings, acquaintances, and the local social scene and customs. San Miguel is still a relatively small town, comprised of about 59,691 inhabitants as of the 2000 census {source}, so throughout the book Susan and Carlos tend to gravitate towards the same places time and again:

to El Jardin, the main square, for example, as seen from atop the...{source}

Parroquia de San Miguel Arcangel.
{source}

Instead of the descriptions of these places becoming tedious, however, Susan makes them feel familiar, homey and ever-richer. By the end of the book the reader is so familiar with these locales it is as if he or she has visited San Miguel in person.

Perhaps what I appreciate the most about this book is its honesty. Susan broaches difficult subjects with skill and sincerity, sharing her thoughts, feelings and reactions in a genuine and mature way. Throughout the book Susan struggles with the trauma of an attempted rape from several years before, essentially the reason she lost her way and ended up in Mexico in the first place. After she meets Carlos and begins to assimilate into San Miguel local culture, Susan begins to realize how many differences there are between the American and Mexican cultures, not the least of which being much stricter gender roles in the latter. She and Carlos also have their share of difficulties after committing to one another and to a family of their own. But you know? Never once when she was telling her story did I feel she was throwing herself a pity party, and while there were dramatic moments, they were very appropriate for that part of her story and never passed into the dreaded territory of melodrama.

The love story between Susan and Carlos is such a joy to read, they are so truly in love with each other. In fact, one of the reasons I wanted to read this book is because they have been committed to each other for many years, happily raising 2 children who are now both in their teens. Their relationship is proof that an age difference, even one of fourteen years, does not automatically spell doom. They have proven that cultural and socioeconomic differences do not have to determine the success of a relationship either.

One last thing: Susan has a hilarious sense of humor and irony, which complement the serious issues she delves into. Flirting in Spanish is such a well-balanced book that the story develops at a consistent rate throughout, preventing the book from getting slow. I do my best to read every book with an unprejudiced mind, but even so, I wasn't expecting to be so taken with this one. It left me feeling very uplifted and, well, so very happy for Susan and Carlos. All I can say is even if memoirs aren't typically your thing, you may find you like this one anyway. It's definitely worth reading.

Don't forget to enter for your chance to win an ebook copy of Flirting in Spanish! To go to the giveaway, CLICK HERE.

Thank you for stopping by and happy reading!

Mary Beth

San Miguel de Allende {source}

Note: I received an ebook copy of Flirting in Spanish at no charge from the author in exchange for my honest rating and review.

{Review} Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Published by Penguin Books, 2007 (originally published 2006)

Paperback, 334 pages

ISBN 0143038419

Genres: adult non-fiction, autobiography, memoir, travel, women's fiction, chick lit, spirituality, romance

Synopsis (via Goodreads): In her early thirties, Elizabeth Gilbert had everything a modern American woman was supposed to want--husband, country home, successful career--but instead of feeling happy and fulfilled, she felt consumed by panic and confusion. This wise and rapturous book is the story of how she left behind all these outward marks of success, and of what she found in their place. Following a divorce and a crushing depression, Gilbert set out to examine three different aspects of her nature, set against the backdrop of three different cultures: pleasure in Italy, devotion in India, and on the Indonesian island of Bali, a balance between worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence.

My review: Oh my. This book bothers me, and the more I think about it the more my negative feelings intensify. First of all, I don't care for Liz at all. She comes across as needy and dependent-- leech-like, in fact. I'm not saying she's the only person who has ever entertained high school-esque relationships and drama a little too long (i.e. into her thirties), but to regard her emotional and psychological maturing as major breakthroughs? Come now, let's not lose touch with reality... which is something, it seems, "Groceries" does a lot of in this book. She bawls and complains (and then bawls some more) about how hard everything is, about her wrecked marriage, about her horrible, horrible divorce, about how David "broke her heart", about her terrible, eroded self-image, about money at points, and I can't help but think (over the shrieking in my head about how frequently some form of the word "brokenhearted" appears) that she really needs to read Dr. Seuss's Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are. She obviously has no idea how much better she has it than a heck of a lot of other people, quite possibly most people; people who somehow manage to work through grief, tragedies, and trauma without going on year-long quests for personal fulfillment. While still maintaining jobs and their everyday responsibilities. I guess it's frustrating to me that most of her misery was self-imposed and yet throughout much of the book she regards herself as a victim. And for having such a small sense of self-worth she certainly has a grand sense of entitlement.

To be honest about the spiritual aspects of this book, they feel very watered-down. God/Jehovah/Allah/Shiva/Brahma/Vishnu/Zeus forbid we make any definite statements about our beliefs that might offend anyone. I thought this book would involve more serious spiritual discovery and examination, but Liz seems to credulously absorb a little of what everyone tells her until she has a pretty convenient spirituality going on, but with no real foundation or basis, no definite conclusions ever arrived at. On page 175 Ms. Gilbert writes, "You abandon your comforting and familiar habits with the hope (the mere hope!) that something greater will be offered you in return for what you've given up. Every religion in the world operates on the same common understandings of what it means to be a good disciple -- get up early and pray to your God, hone your virtues, be a good neighbor, respect yourself and others, master your cravings." This seems to me to be a pretty shallow perspective of faith. First of all, we are self-sacrificing in order to try to attain something better? Wait a second, I didn't think self-sacrifice was about what has been lost or might be gained, but about the giving itself. And secondly, the next sentence sounds like a general description of a good person, but seems hardly adequate to describe the lifestyle of anyone's disciple.

There are tidbits of this book that were enjoyable (primarily some of the descriptions of Italy and the wonderful-sounding food there), but these hardly make up for the rest of this wishy-washy (and frequently all-too-whiny) "memoir". This book has left a decidedly unpleasant taste in my mouth, and while before starting this book I was interested in some of the author's other works, this interest has died a tragic and heartbroken death... though if her ex-husband ever writes his side of the story, I may be interested in reading it.

Mary Beth